Drivers...

Drivers

There are some decent ones, some good ones, and some STUPID ones. (not going to point at any specific states..*utah*..) Where do I begin?
My first reason for wanting to post this came to me as I was heading to work. I work at a mall, and so as I was parking in the parking garage, (a little rushed) the person in front of me was going at a snail's pace while looking for a spot. -Take that back: a snail would have beat him in a race.- UGH! Now, I do not support speeding in parking garages, but you could go a llliiiiitttle faster, buddy! I wish I knew what they were thinking..."Maybe if I go slow enough, someone will hurry to their car, which is parked in this marvelous front area, and back out just as I get there. The people behind me won't mind!". Enough said.
Next- Turn Signals. Dear Utah/Stupid drivers. There is a magical switch in your car that you can use ANYTIME when you would like to inform others of your upcoming turn! Preferred by most, (or by law.. you pick) this switch should be used about eee...100 ft BEFORE your turn, just to inform and allow people time to prepare for your upcoming move. Please use this method often, in fact, as often as you fancy, then more! Thank you. Sincerely- People driving behind you that have to slam on thier brakes when they see that YOU can't decide where you're going until .0333 milliseconds BEFORE you turn.
O goodnesss... anyone out there feeling my pain? I am a somewhat safe driver. I pay attention, speed a little here and there, but I try to be considerate as often as possible. I also am a usually trustful driver, and don't panic to much about other cars around me. But that has not recently been the case. For some reason lately, (these past 2 months or so) I have not trusted ANYONE on the road. I always see people drifting into my lane, changing lanes quickly, not see me until it was almost too late, or just being plain stupid.
(A tribute to Jordan Harris) Here is what I call "Being #1". This is a growing epidemic in the driving world. People who have caught this disease tend to feel that they are #1. This means that they suddenly feel like they are the only drivers on the road/parking lot. They feel as if they are entitled to turn, back out, merge, or brake anytime they feel inclined. I, with Jordan as well, (who invented the term) have started calling out people with this problem while driving. You wouldn't believe how often this term is used : "Well- I guess YOU'RE #1!" Try it out sometime! You won't believe how many people firmly feel this way, and how many times you are cut off (and more) while driving.
Now, I hope you have enjoyed my little rant. It might seem as if I am complaining, and I am. I do hope that others feel this way as well, and would love any comments or concerns you have on this topic. Thank you again and remember- There are others on the road; Pay attention.

Disclaimer

This is my disclaimer:

All things written and posted on this blog are general topics and are never targeted at one specific person or event. All topics have been carefully thought about, discussed with others, examined, and been approved to share.
If you are personally offended- I'm sorry. Not intended by any means.
If you have any issues with any posts, whether good or bad, please feel free to let me know.
Thanks

-S

The Explainer

Hey everyone! Sorry.. it's been forever, I know. Lots of stuff going on!!
But there are so many things to write about! What should I discuss today...?

O- I know.

Lets call them The Explainers. Or the Joke Ruiners. Or people in this world who can't quite pick up on sarcasm, wittiness, common understanding jokes, or just inside jokes without having to explain them first. We've all come across them in our lives. I happen to find them to be quite a laugh ruiner at times, and learn not to confuse them too much with modern humor. They are the ones who commonly aren't up to par with any current (or even sometimes non-current) jokes, skits, videos, movies, or anything funny. They like to be involved in the joke, but often don't pick up on all the humor occuring, mosly because they don't have the proper background information. They then try to add on, or "fit in", by re-explaining the joke at its utmost obvious and informational way possible. Catching on to what i'm saying? Know of some people like this?
If not, I'll try to provide some examples.
Let's start out with an easy one. Picture this- you're telling a good joke to some of your friends. You tell the classic "why did the chicken cross the road?" joke (in which the answer is: to get to the other side) and everyone laughs. (well- try to imagine they do, because that joke really is not funny to most of us..). Now- The Explainer chimes in with his classic explanation. While laughing, he (or she) out loud says "HAHA! That's funny because chickens don't normally cross the road! HAHA!".
.........
Really..?
.........
Thanks for the explanation Mr. Explainer, because otherwise I would have been lost! LOST.
Then everyone kind of pity laughs, though all the people who are actually with it are just cringing inside and thinking "Wow... that really didn't need to be said.".
Making sense now? Need another example?
You're watching a movie with your friends. Hmm... I want a really specific example. Let's say the movie is Hot Rod. Well The Explainer has to explain everything that is funny in the movie. Or- they don't get it and question everything (as in everything that everyone else commonly thinks is funny). They say things like "What the...?" or explain why it was funny that he got hit by a car, wants to beat up his father, or is saying "WHiskey". I hope that helped you understand, or you are just laughing because you "Soooo know what I'm talking about!!"
Anyway.. to the people who don't understand this, I say to you, "You probably are this person." And to that I say two words. STOP IT. ( haha mad tv skit... you are awesome if you know what I'm talking about.)
Soo, to the normal people I say "Good Luck". These people, no matter how hard you try, will probably always be this way. Either learn to love thier cornyness, or make a new friend that understands life. Because, The Explainer must Explain. And the Jokes must go On.